Full Stomachs, Forgetful Hearts
It is a good day when I happen upon the elementary school students at the Schechter School of Long Island while they are singing birkat hamazon, the traditional Jewish blessings after a meal. The kids sing the blessings with gusto, and being with them is a sweet perk of my role as Head of School. If you have spent time in a Jewish day school or summer camp, you are probably familiar with this scene: joyous Jewish children reciting birkat hamazon at full voice, with occasional hand motions and claps to punctuate the words. In addition to the generally uplifting nature of the sound of kids singing, for me, teaching children the regular practice of reciting birkat hamazon holds a deeper and essential educational value. We can find its origins in this week鈥檚 Torah portion.
As part of Moses鈥檚 series of sermons that we read throughout Deuteronomy, and his persistent plea that the Israelites remain faithful to God and the covenant, here, Moses imagines a future when the Israelites will have settled in the Land of Israel. At that time, they will enjoy all the benefits of the fertile land, and in Deuteronomy 8:10, we read:
讜职讗指讻址诇职转指旨謻 讜职砖指讉讘指謶注职转指旨 讜旨讘值纸专址讻职转指旨謾 讗侄转志讛 讗直诇止-讬讱指 注址诇志讛指讗指芝专侄抓 讛址讟止旨讘指謻讛 讗植砖侄讈芝专 谞指纸转址谉志诇指纸讱职變
When you have eaten your fill, give thanks to the ETERNAL your God for the good land given to you.
This is the verse referenced in the Babylonian Talmud, Tractate Berakhot 21a, as the source for the commandment to recite birkat hamazon.
讗指诪址专 专址讘 讬职讛讜旨讚指讛: 诪执谞址旨讬执谉 诇职讘执专职讻址旨转 讛址诪指旨讝讜止谉 诇职讗址讞植专侄讬讛指 诪执谉 讛址转旨讜止专指讛 鈥� 砖侄讈谞侄旨讗直诪址专: 状讜职讗指讻址诇职转指旨 讜职砖指讉讘指注职转指旨 讜旨讘值专址讻职转指旨状.
Rav Yehuda said: From where is the mitzva by Torah law to recite Grace after Meals, derived? As it is stated: 鈥淎nd you shall eat and be satisfied and bless the Lord your God鈥� (Deut. 8:10).
While the elementary school students I mentioned above are happy to recite birkat hamazon, I have found that as kids get older (think of pre-adolescents approaching b鈥檔ei mitzvah at 12 or 13), they are often less inclined. Through my many years of teaching middle school students, more than one student has asked me hard and critical questions about Jewish traditions we practice in school, including, 鈥淲hy do we have to say birkat hamazon?鈥�
While it is developmentally appropriate for children at that age to question the adults in their lives, I think the question about birkat hamazon holds more than just a push back against authority. After all, in our parashah, Moses pointed to a time when the Israelites would be well fed, so isn鈥檛 it natural for them to feel thankful? Why do we need a commandment to say these blessings after eating? More than that, middle schoolers really don鈥檛 like being told how to feel. I understand their annoyance: Why are you commanding me to feel thankful? If I get what I need, and my tummy is full, I will feel it.
The answers to these questions can also be found in Parashat Eikev. Moses鈥檚 imagined future includes a description of people whose needs are met and who become self-satisfied. We read in Deuteronomy 8:12鈥�14:
驻侄旨谉志转止旨讗讻址謻诇 讜职砖指讉讘指謶注职转指旨 讜旨讘指转执旨芝讬诐 讟止讘执譀讬诐 转执旨讘职谞侄謻讛 讜职讬指砖指纸讈讘职转指旨變
讜旨讘职拽指纸专职讱指证 讜职爪止纸讗谞职讱指謾 讬执专职讘职旨讬只謹谉 讜职讻侄芝住侄祝 讜职讝指讛指謻讘 讬执专职讘侄旨讛志诇指旨謶讱职 讜职讻止芝诇 讗植砖侄讈专志诇职讱指謻 讬执专职讘侄旨纸讛變
讜职专指謻诐 诇职讘指讘侄謶讱指 讜职砖指纸讈讻址讞职转指旨謾 讗侄转 讛 讗直诇止-讬讱指
When you have eaten your fill, and have built fine houses to live in,
and your herds and flocks have multiplied, and your silver and gold have increased, and everything you own has prospered,
beware lest your heart grow haughty and you forget the ETERNAL your God
The concern for this haughty attitude is further articulated in verse 17:
讜职讗指诪址专职转指旨謻 讘执旨诇职讘指讘侄謶讱指 讻止旨讞执讬謾 讜职注止郑爪侄诐 讬指讚执謹讬 注指芝砖指讉讛 诇执謻讬 讗侄转志讛址讞址芝讬执诇 讛址讝侄旨纸讛
and you say to yourselves, 鈥淢y own power and the might of my own hand have won this wealth for me.鈥�
In other words, people who are full and satisfied are actually unlikely to feel gratitude. They might give themselves credit for the blessings that they enjoy. As Jeffrey Tigay puts it in The JPS Torah Commentary on Deuteronomy, 鈥淭he idea that material wealth and satiety can lead to pride and arrogance and forgetting one鈥檚 dependence on God is a persistent concern in the Bible鈥� ( p. 80).
Another text from Tractate Berakhot 32a backs up Professor Tigay鈥檚 assertion and brings a list of biblical quotes, including one from Parashat Eikev (Deut. 8:14), to support the idea that being satiated can lead to trouble.
讗指诪址专 专址讘 讗址讞指讗 讘职旨专值讬讛旨 讚职旨专址讘 讛讜旨谞指讗 讗指诪址专 专址讘 砖值讈砖侄讈转: 讛址讬职讬谞讜旨 讚职旨讗指诪职专执讬 讗执讬谞指砖值讈讬: 诪职诇值讬 讻职旨专值住值讬讛旨 讝职谞值讬 讘执旨讬砖值讈讬. 砖侄讈谞侄旨讗直诪址专: 状讻职旨诪址专职注执讬转指诐 讜址讬执旨砖职讉讘指旨注讜旨 砖指讉讘职注讜旨 讜址讬指旨专讎诐 诇执讘指旨诐 注址诇 讻值旨谉 砖职讈讻值讞讜旨谞执讬状. 专址讘 谞址讞职诪指谉 讗指诪址专: 诪值讛指讻指讗: 状讜职专指诐 诇职讘指讘侄讱指 讜职砖指讈讻址讞职转指旨 讗侄转 讛壮状. 讜职专址讘指旨谞址谉 讗指诪职专执讬, 诪值讛指讻指讗: 状讜职讗指讻址诇 讜职砖指讉讘址注 讜职讚指砖值讈谉 讜旨驻指谞指讛状.
On a similar note, Rav A岣, son of Rav Huna, said that Rav Sheshet said: That is what people say in a popular maxim: Filling his stomach is a type of sin, as it is stated: 鈥淲hen they were fed and became full they were sated, and their hearts were lifted and they have forgotten Me鈥� (Hosea 13:6). Rav Na岣an said: This principle is derived not from the verse in Hosea, but from here: 鈥淎nd your heart is lifted and you forget the Lord鈥� (Deut.8:14). And the Rabbis say that this principle is derived from here: 鈥淎nd they will have eaten and been sated and fattened, and they will turn to other gods鈥� (Deut. 31:20).
While some people innately feel gratitude, many of us need to be commanded to be thankful, especially at times when we feel satisfied, such as after eating. The commandment to regularly recite birkat hamazon is a way to counter these self-aggrandizing impulses, a gratitude practice that inculcates awareness of blessings that we cannot control. That practice has the potential to help us avoid the pride and arrogance Moses describes. Moreover, psychological research shows that feeling and expressing gratitude makes for happier and more optimistic people. Being thankful is good for us.
The practice of gratitude is an important life lesson that all my students need, so birkat hamazon remains a part of Schechter鈥檚 daily routines. When a reluctant 12-year-old tells me that they don鈥檛 want to do it, that is an opportunity to begin a dialogue with them, to share the things I am grateful for in my life, and to ask them to reflect on what they are grateful for. Reciting birkat hamazon at each meal offers my students and me the ongoing and frequent opportunity for this important reflection. So, whether it is with the enthusiastic elementary students or the leery upper school students, I will be excited to sing birkat hamazon with them again when they come back to school this fall.
The publication and distribution of the 91快活林 Parashah Commentary are made possible by a generous grant from Rita Dee (z鈥漧) and Harold Hassenfeld (z鈥漧).
